Monday, December 2, 2013

Tis the Season ~

I  know that I have not blogged in ages, but tonight I felt so compelled that I knew I had to do it.  So very much is on my heart, and for me, there is never a better way to make things better, than to write.  So here I am emotionally blogging, which is better than me emotionally eating or drinking, and I have been known to do both, so hopefully this will be the best decision for my emotional well being.

I think it all started bubbling over when I called my Baba in CA to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving.  She will be turning 90 at the end of January & it was one of the saddest conversations that I have ever had with her.   Let's just say her health is not so great.  She is nearly deaf  & has only been able to see out of one eye, but she is quickly loosing her sight, which they have now realized is from a tumor on her cornea, and surgery may not be an option because of her age.  So needless to say, it was not a fun conversation.  She is so precious; she is one of the smartest & most brave women I know, still sharp as a tack, but so very frightened, which nearly shattered my heart.  Below are a couple of my favorite pictures of her from a trip we took back out to CA a couple of years ago. 

 And now we get to today....down to the nitty-gritty, and my breaking point.  Moving.  Yup we are moving.  Thankfully not out of KY, or even Lexington for that matter, but we are moving.  We have decided to downsize; imagine that in this day & age.  I thought I was really ok with it until we started moving things over to our new home, and really started taking the BIG stuff, and then today my amazing  mother-in-law posted a picture from her annual chocolate party, and I cried like a baby.  For real, like a baby.  Something about that picture made me so sad.  You see, the chocolate party was something that was around long before I was in the picture 20+ years ago.  It was something she did wither her mom, a.k.a. Granny, and with all the girls in the family & then when I married Charley, I was invited, and as we all had daughters, they came too.  Along the way we sadly lost loved ones and then 9 years ago, we moved away.  Bette's party this year was with just cousin Lisa & cousin Valerie  & for the first time, their husbands. 

It showed that we had entered a new stage in our lives, and it just made me very sad and miss them very much.  For the first time in 9 years, I really felt "homesick" .  Homesick for my Baba, my family and for my friends back in CA.

 This is all of us a couple of years ago.  We had a summer chocolate party
 And some of my best girlfriends back in CA.
So I went to the new house and did one of the things I do best, and love to do; decorate our Christmas tree.  Now, I pretty much cried the whole time I did it because most of the ornaments hold such special memories, but it made me feel closer to the people that I love that are far away, and I know that I need to make our new house feel like home, and this is one of the best ways that I know how to do that.
 Cousin Lisa gave me that heart ornament too many years ago to remember when, but I love it just as much today, as I did on the night I opened it at the chocolate party.
 And cousin Valerie gave me a set of 3 of these precious candy containers that I absolutely cherish & one day, I know my girls will each cherish theirs that I pass each on to them. 
They say that "there's no place like home for the holidays" but home is not only where your heart is, but who you keep in it too.  Time passes and things change, but love remains the same.  I am so grateful for my amazing family & friends & most of all, our three precious daughters that I am blessed to spend each day with.  God is good, all the time, and the best is yet to come!
Merry Christmas & God Bless you,


Linda Lou said...

Dearest Sanya,
Your posting made me cry and I felt so close to you as I read and clung to each word. I feel your pain! We have been preparing to do the same thing. I know that you will be happy in your new home, but I understand how difficult it is to say good-bye to old memories. Please don't hesitate to call if you'd like to talk. I will be thinking of you and sending the merriest of Christmas wishes to you and your family this you...Linda Roscoe said...

Hi sweet Sanya, what a beautiful post. Keep being positive. The best is on it's way. xo said...

Hi sweet Sanya, what a beautiful post. Keep being positive. The best is on it's way. xo

Sadie said...

even though it's a little sad to read, this was a beautiful post.

I don't know why I clicked on your link this morning (I have kept it, 'just in case'), but I am so glad I did.

I'm sorry for all the sadness in your heart right now.

Sending you warm wishes for happiness and a very happy Christmas.